Yesterday, I woke up feeling like I never slept and I clearly remember what I dreamt about. I was on the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo and I was escaping weird aliens. In some parts of the dream, I was watching the Falcon from a distance while also complaining about the newly formed footprints on the floor I had just mopped. It was an intense nightmare. When I woke up, my eyes started watering and that didn't stop till I passed out from exhaustion much later in the day. By then, I had rinsed all my dishes with my continuous flow of tears. What's more, the infamous eyelid twitch was back and the sound of long fingernails scratching the surface of a blackboard filled my house every time my left eyelid twitched and my lashes scraped against the walls. I had set goals for the day in advance and I was supposed to submit two pieces to two different websites by the end of the day. Instead of doing what I should have done, I sat there, wiping involuntary tears from my eyes while bearing the weight of the entire universe on my eyelids. What I needed was a nap. But I couldn't nap because I was due a grocery delivery in the afternoon. I decided that I'd nap after putting away my groceries.
Ever since we started getting our groceries delivered to our kitchen, we have been taking some things for granted. We were so in love with this system that we thought we might as well try out another service that will drop things off. We used to order from Waitrose which we loved. They were professional and had all the best items you could possibly wish for. The only problem was that they had a minimum order value which was a bit much for just two people. Often, we'd find ourselves browsing through things and adding items to the cart simply because we had to reach the minimum order value. We soon realised that while this was a luxury, we didn't really need that many items on a weekly basis. In fact, most of the shelf items we ordered ages ago are still sitting on our shelves. So we thought we might as well try Tesco this week because they don't have a crazy minimum order value. Big mistake.
First of all, I wasn't too pleased with the way Tesco brought my groceries to the kitchen. Waitrose brings it in their custom shopping carts and they unload each item in our presence so that we can see everything that is being delivered. Tesco brings everything in covers marked as "Fridge", "Freezer" and "Cupboard". The delivery guy left these covers on my counters and assured me that I had no "replacement" items and that everything I had ordered was there on my counter-top. After he left, I made the shocking discovery that half my items were in fact missing and half the stuff that had been delivered was never even ordered in the first place. There were four litres of milk sitting on my counter-top and if you didn't know already, four fucking litres of milk would completely fill my tiny fridge. In fact, I didn't order milk at all. Then began the frantic bill-checking and list-crossing and I discovered that ALL of my "Fridge" items were missing. Obviously, I had been delivered someone else's fridge items while mine were probably sitting in their pantry. So, I tried to keep my calm and called their helpline number. They put me on hold forever to let me know that they were trying to get in touch with the driver and once that was accomplished they would have him collect what was not mine and return what was rightfully mine. In the meantime, my left eyelid was keying my computer screen and sparks were flying in all directions.
Two hours of sleep-deprivation later, I called them again to tell them that my issue had still not been taken care of. After being put on hold for another I-don't-know-how-many minutes, they said that they STILL hadn't been able to get in touch with the driver because he was a magician who had disappeared into thin air.
Frustrated, I went ahead to pee because when all else fails, some quality
alone pee time always makes one feel better. A year ago, immediately after The Husband and I moved in to our new place, half the lights in our bathroom stopped working. We took this as a sign that the house welcomes us because anything bathroom related is funny to us. And us being, well US, we never got the lights repaired. Why would we? Half the lights were working, we could still read while pooping and listen to music while showering. Moreover, we're more of the glass-half-full kind of people and what was functional was good enough. But on this day, when I was already fighting off what seemed to be a horrible jet lag, and while my eyes were watering our neighbours' plants and my eyelashes were simultaneously trimming them, I realised that ALL the lights in our bathroom were now fused. I had to pee in darkness. That, my friends, was the last fucking straw. I sat on my toilet seat and cried for a full 3 minutes. In complete darkness.
By the time I typed the whole story of my misery (which was almost as long as this post) in a message to The Husband (complete with graphic toilet seat crying details), he asked me one question - "I need you to stay calm and think about this. Are you going to be on your period soon?". Normally, I'd get very angry at that question but this time, I knew that he was genuinely concerned and that there was genuinely need for concern. Everything made sense then and there. And I cried some more because, "Why hadn't I thought of it first?". Then I saw a pic of Biriyani that our friend had uploaded on Facebook and told The Husband that I was craving Biriyani. He said that we could order Indian tonight and believe it or not, that was followed by even more waterworks because, "I don't get why you're always so nice to me!".
I didn't get to nap for another 4 hours. By then, it was my night's sleep, not a nap. Because my stuff never got delivered yesterday. A great start to the week, it was. I wish I could say that things are a lot better today but that's not how hormones work. At this point, I feel that I'd take stomach cramps any day. I'm more stressed than ever this morning. I have to catch up on all that work, milk (LOTS of it) that's not even mine is still sitting on my kitchen counter, the house is a mess, the lights are still not working as they'll get delivered only tonight (laundry room lights got fused this morning as well), and we have dinner plans with friends so I'm hoping that everything that needs to be delivered will get here while we're still at home because the last delivery slot is at 10 p.m. When I get stressed, I break out in my chin area and right now, my chin looks like it's giving birth to intelligent alien life forms. Typing this long essay has kind of helped because now I know what's going on in my head and how I feel about things, if that even made sense. But I'm really, really sorry if you stuck around to read till the end only to realise that this was a whine-fest.
So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to publish this post, clean the house, do my hair and make-up, and get to the business of meeting my deadlines. I can't prevent shit from going wrong all the time but at the end of the day, it's up to me to take back control. Today is going to be a good and productive day. Reaffirmation is what I need. And I hope I remember that even if things take a turn for the worse, I have tasty dinner plans lined up with people I like hanging out with.
Time to get to work.