So this is what we've finally come to. Everyone has a message to convey, a story to tell, something to believe in. Everyone wants to be heard in a world where no one is ready to listen. A room full of young idealists banter about the "work" they do to "make a difference". Selfish, SELFISH work to feel good about themselves and to feed their own egos. At least, our young idealists are incapable of affecting permanent change or worse, permanent damage. At least we can ignore them and go about our own business. As did the 50 people in Orlando who got gunned down by a psycho maniac who let his guns do the talking, to give voice to his idea of change, to spread his message of hate. As did the 53 people who got wounded in the process. As did the families of the wounded and the departed.

Peaceful people, minding their own business, being themselves. I can't remember the last time someone said that now was a good time to be alive. It has never been a good time to be alive. Not when hate crimes snatch away the lives of innocents. Not when intolerant cowards make themselves heard through gun shots and explosions. Not when parents ask their kids to "get over it" when they come out and talk about their sexuality. Not when husbands believe that their wives cannot possibly be better drivers than themselves. Not when it's a crime to be yourself. It's never been a good time to be alive.

While everyone is waiting to feel offended about that person who ignored them at a party or that family member who didn't return calls, let me give you something to feel offended about. Feel offended by your own incapability to stop maniacs from taking the lives of innocents. Feel offended that you ever hung out with someone who was intolerant towards the LGBT community. Feel offended that you're related to a chauvinist pig. Feel offended that you didn't silence the idiot in your friends circle who went on a hate rant. Because while these cowards and maniacs take lives to send a message of hate and to instil fear in me, I only feel offended by everything I'm incapable of doing to prevent this kind of heart-breaking loss. I'm only reminded that I don't want to live in this hell that we have manifested for ourselves. It's definitely not a good time to be alive.

I don't know a thing about after-life. I don't know if it even exists. But I'm sure at least a few of our departed friends might have believed in something of the sort. And for their sakes, I will believe too. For this once, all their beliefs are mine too and I hope to dear God that they're in a better place. Can't possibly be worse than the world they left behind anyway. Because believe me, this is not a good time to be alive.

I wrote this piece as an immediate reaction to the events on Sunday. I was emotional and in tears when I wrote it. I never intended to publish it as I didn't want it to look disingenuous and because it was not a well thought out statement of facts. But it's an immediate reaction and I believe at least some of you must have gone through something of the sort when you heard of the atrocity.

Photo credit: procsilas via / CC BY