...that one thing being The Bromance, it's CHRISTMAS!
So the story goes like this. The Husband and I spent the whole of last Saturday taking two of The Bromance's friends sightseeing around the city. Towards the end of the day, we climbed up Calton Hill which is a beautiful landmark right in the middle of the city. From there, you can see almost the entire city spreading around you.
Once we got to the top, The Husband and I started our ritual of trying to figure out where exactly we lived. It's the same story every time. We speculate for some time and then give up because we're idiots. But The Bromance is no idiot, you guys. The Bromance always knows. So he gave us imbeciles one sweeping look of disgust and proceeded to point out landmark after landmark before pointing to a general direction and saying "That's where the pub is, the one next to your place. So that means that's where you guys live".
"Which pub?", asked The Husband.
"THE pub. The one next to your place."
"That doesn't help. We go to a lot of pubs."
"No, we don't!"
"We as in we", said The Husband, pointing at me and making circular hand gestures indicating that him and I were in the circle and The Bromance wasn't.
In that moment, I wanted to slap his hands and kick his shin in order to stop him from doing the hand circle thing because I saw the look of confusion followed by that of horror, shock and betrayal on The Bromance's face. He looked like he was having a stroke because he realised that The Husband and I have been having a little something called a "married life" behind his back. He realised that he wasn't a part of all the "leisure activities" that we indulged in. How DARE we? I was truly concerned so I asked him, "Umm...are you okay?" and he started panting this response.
"Oh...ya...I'm o...so as I was saying, that's where the pub-...FUCKERS!...and that's where you live."
The panting may have come with some muttering under the breath. Loud, explosive, name-calling muttering. I'm surprised he didn't pick me up with one hand and throw me off the hill like a football then and there. Couldn't have been too hard to accomplish.