Morning of Day 1
"I realise that I take you for granted sometimes. Have a safe trip."
"Does this mean that you'll stop farting in my face from now on?"
"I wouldn't bet on that."
5 hours later:
"Why do you keep calling and texting all the time? I thought the point of you going away was that I'd get some peace. Why can't you just leave me alone and let me enjoy my freedom?"
"You're already at his place, aren't you?"
^The story of my long distance relationship so far.