If you're wondering why this is such a big deal, let me point you to this post.
A few weeks ago, a nice girl told her husband who works with The Husband to tell The Husband to tell me that she read my blog and agrees with our life choices (Thank you so much!). To that (I believe) The Husband said, "Oh, thank you. I'll let her know. Wait, wha-? MY life choices as well? That cannot be right. I should probably start reading her blog". He probably panicked a little thinking that I wrote about the times when I've had to physically stop him from eating a 2 liter tub of ice cream for breakfast. Why, he should have known that I would never do that to him :D But don't get your hopes high because the idiotnincompoop completely forgot about everything the next day and never read my blog until...
Last Friday, around this time, shit hit the fanexcrement hiteth the ceiling propeller at 22 Nelson Street (not technically at 22 Nelson Street but it did affect 50% of it's inhabitants) based on a post that went up the previous day. It was a real shit-stormfecal tempest and I had a lot of fun dealing with the mess that I had gotten myself into. Last Friday was a gooooooooood day.
When things started getting a little crazy, I heard a sort of reaction escaping the otherwise reaction-less, expression-less being that happens to be The Husband. He uttered ONE word and that was:
Replace the dude's face with the
sexy specsy, expressionless face of The Husband for added effect (Oh, wait. No specs in this one but you get the point):
He looked happy and amused and his eyes started twinkling with excitement (just like in the picture above). He asked me how I had managed to piss offwee-wee off so many people, to which I said, "By being a not-so-classy bitchan uncouth brach, that's how". No just kidding. Or am I?
Anyway, long story short, the whole thing intrigued him to the extent that he actually sat down and read said post and everything that followed. I choose to ignore his ulterior motive behind reading my blog which is to make daily predictions on how many (and what all kinds of) people I may or may not have pissed offwee-wee'd off with a certain post. Although I must admit that his predictions are the highlight of my day. He's waiting for someone to get offended so that he can say, "I told you so. You're a bad, bad egg.".
That's when I realized that with every dark cloud comes a silver lining. And that's awesome! It took an angry mob to finally get him to read my blog every single day (One week and counting *fingers crossed*) with no pushing, probing or nagging from my side. Yay!
But just when my toothy smile began to explode from behind my frail thin lips, the assholerump-fed lout had to go and ruin everything. He decided to lecture me on the workings of the universe as he saw it. His reaction to the whole episode can be summed up with this conversation:
TH: How many people are pissed offwee-wee'd off?
Me: Around 10, I think.
TH: How many people can they influence and turn against you?
Me: I don't know. 20? 50?
TH: That's 50 out of...?
TH: That's 50 out of 7 Billion. That's so painfully insignificant that I don't think you should give a shitgiveth a shite.
Me: That's true. That made me feel a lot better. Thanks.
Aaaand, he could have stopped there. But nope! He had to go on.
TH: Yep. They, like you, are insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
Me: Like me?
TH: Yeah. Like you. Like me. Like everyone else. Nobody makes a difference. Maybe your blog makes a difference in your life because it makes you happy. And hence, it makes a difference in my life. Everything and everyone else is insignificant. Because when you look at the big picture, we're a minuscule part of a 7 billion strong community.
As much as that makes sense (and may even be true), I still want to slap him for calling me insignificant.
That bone-headed cynical assholeloggerheaded earth-vexing lout!
Have a Happy Slappy weekend y'all!