Selfish Brat Alert

Okay, confession time. I used to randomly buy The Husband gifts when we were dating because he was my precious little teddy bear that I got to see only every once in a while but ever since we got married, I haven't bought him even a single gift. I think. I don't really remember if I bought him anything in the past year and a half. And I believe it's been the same way with him. I never expect him to buy me a gift even on my birthdays so basically we haven't bought each other gifts in a while.

Oh, wait. I just remembered that we bought each other corny mugs for Valentine's this year but that doesn't count because we both find corny mugs amusingly lame and the mug he got me held a special meaning to us.

But coming back to the point, neither of us are that into buying gifts for each other and in my case specifically, it's because I'm too selfish to think of anyone else when it comes to spending my money. Not that I wouldn't spend money on The Husband, it's just that sometimes I forget...STOP JUSTIFYING, ANKITA!

Anyway, this morning I was telling my mom how I ordered a bunch of skin care products online and I was explaining what each of those products did. But her only question to me was, "Did you even think of buying something for Shane?"

Thankfully, today I could respond in the affirmative.

"Why, YES! I bought him an after-shave balm. A really good one, that too."

And lo! There was silence. In that silence, I detected parental disappointment travel 5000 miles across the ocean to slap me right across my face. And at that moment, I decided not to tell her the truth. Instead, I resorted to write about it on my blog for the whole world to read because I'm not a very smart person, you see.

The thing is, yesterday after I was done putting item after item in my online shopping basket, when I proceeded to check-out, the website flashed bright colours at me to inform me that if I spent £50, I could get a 50% discount. And guess how much all of my products had come to? GUESS!

They had all come to exactly £49.50. The sad thing was, there wasn't a single other product I needed to buy and there wasn't a single other cheap thing available for me to add to my basket in order to get the fucking discount. So when I remembered that The Husband had started shaving recently (let's see how long that phase lasts) and that he'd been saying something about wanting to get an aftershave balm because he hates the liquid aftershave thingies that most people use, I thought 'meh, why not?' and added the one with the best reviews to my cart. And while I'm on a roll and admitting to what a shitty human being I am, here's another thought that popped up in my head: 'I could also use his aftershave balm when I shave my legs'. At this point, you should remember that I'm the kind of selfish brat who doesn't share even her shower gel with her spouse. And that I have no qualms about secretly planning to steal his aftershave balm.

Oh, what the hell! I guess at I might as well add that I eat newborn babies in a field of heather on full moon nights and that I sacrifice kittens to the Pagan Gods just for the heck of it. So Mother, Father and Husband, deal with it.