"Do you want to hear a joke?"
"Once upon a time, there lived a squirrel that breathed only through it's asshole."
"Oh wow. Here we go."
"One day, this squirrel sat down. And it died." (bursts out laughing...alone)
"After a nice long day at the beach, you come back home to apply this:"
"You leave it in the fridge all day and when you apply it all over your sun-burnt skin, you feel like a queen. Like Cleopatra." (complete with feminine hand gestures and frantic nodding)
"Are you applying sun-screen?"
"Oh, do you want to hear something really racist?"
"No, I'll pass."
"It's a very old Greek proverb..."
"I said I'll pa..."
"...It goes like this: There's no point wasting your time washing the nigger, because you'll only ruin your soap."
"Yeah I know. And the most fucked up part is that it's the name of a movie from the 70's. Back in the day, my people were crazy."