April Braindump

Last month on my braindump, I remember saying that there was something extremely satisfying about the fact that I was writing my braindump, a tradition reserved for the last working day of every month, on a Friday - the last working day of the week. I'm happy to experience the same satisfaction today.

But that's pretty much all the happiness I'm feeling right now. My life since mid-March has been meh for the most part. There surely were spells of sunshine like my holiday in London and the many fart jokes with Shane on an almost daily basis but overall, I can only describe the month of April as meh. Most of it has to do with work related frustrations while some of it is just me. My general disposition. And God knows Shane has earned enough brownie points to get eggs and bacon breakfasts for the rest if his life just by putting up with my crap for one month. Overall, I'm happy to say that my general mood has been improving but I'm yet to put a finger on the problem and figure things out. Until then, I'll continue barking "NO!", and "WHAT?", and "WHY?", and "DAFUQ?" with such intensity that Shane and Meenal sometimes load them into guns and try to knock me out.

And with the same intensity, I would like to apologize to you. For I have been slacking and I'm not sure if you've been noticing. Some of you have, as is clear from the messages in my inbox asking me if I was okay. Thank you for making me feel so special. But I must apologize for being M.I.A from social media for the most part and from this blog every once in a while. A change is coming. I can feel it. I'm in the process but I just don't know what it is going to be yet.

There's an unpublished post sitting in my drafts, one that I typed for hours at length, apologizing to you guys, myself and to my art. But after I was done apologizing, the post took an unexpected turn and I started making promises. Realistic promises this time. Again, to you guys, to myself and to this blog. Someday, I might even publish it. But for now, I'll tell you that the promise I made was to only write when the time was right and when the writing fulfilled me. To only write when it did justice to my art, and to only click "publish" if it gave me a familiar rush. So far, I've been keeping that promise and finally starting to let go of self-assigned deadlines. That has been helping a lot.

A lot of you have been with me from the very beginning and from the way you talk to me, it's clear that you seem to know me quite well. It feels like such a privilege to even talk to some of you who've shown me support and invested time in my life as I share it on this blog. I don't know how to thank you for it except by being completely honest about what's going on. And once all of this gets figured out (and I'm sure it will), you will definitely see it. I won't have to spell it out for you but you will see it. Until then, like I said, I'm going to try and avoid being knocked out by the intensity of my own raging lunacy.

There weren't any tangents in this braindump and I find that disappointing. But fret not, my tangent lovers, for I have it figured out. When I started the podcast, I extended this tradition of a Braindump to it. So on the last week of every month, Meenal and I sit down in front of our microphones and virtually in front of each other, and go nuts with our conversation. We have a proper catch-up session where the tangents are oh. so. many. These braindumps sometimes make us worried right before the release date because we tend to not hold back in any way during these recordings and freely share our not-so-diplomatic opinions on certain things.

This week, we started off by discussing the exam schedules in Meenal's university and ended up covering topics ranging from Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Serena Williams' pregnancy, and Kareena Kapoor, to believe it or not, even Chetan Bhagat. We definitely weren't ready for that.

Also, some of you were telling me that you didn't install podcast apps on your phone and couldn't play the Soundcloud embeds to the podcast either, and that you'd prefer if there was an easier way to listen to the episodes I mentioned on the blog. So, here's the mp3 player on my website itself on which you can play all the episodes I link to right here on this website without having to open another browser or download an app. I hope this solves your problem :)

I also hope that we all have a wonderful weekend, that you get through anything that might be troubling you, and that I snap out of this phase of unease as soon as possible. Happy weekend!