5 Broken things on this Website

This website happens to be the pet project of two insanely depraved individuals, one of whom has written every single line of code to build this thing and the other has written every single line comprising of normal words that normal people understand. Both of these individuals have spent endless sleepless hours writing, coding, fixing, breaking, crying, laughing and even potty training this blog. It's their first baby and they intend to do a better job at raising it than their own parents did at raising them (Parent Smite!), while making a whole new set of mistakes themselves.

The problem however, is that sometimes it seems as though the father doesn't love the baby as much as the mother does. The reason being that the mother has to bribe the father with ice-cream almost every single time she needs him to help with the baby. Okay I'm getting tired of referring to myself and The Husband in third person so let's just cut the crap and get to the point. I have ONE engineer and he's a lazy piece of shit who demands ice-cream as payment every time he needs to geek out on his own pet project. And I'm stuck here with the dual responsibility of caring for both my children, trying to get one child to fix the issues on the other (like a good, responsible mother) while also trying to keep child 1 alive by preventing an over-consumption of ice-cream.

So here's a list of 1,2,3,4, FIVE broken things on this blog that The Husband has refused to fix ever since the ice-cream supply has been cut short at 22 Nelson Street:

  1. The dates never appear. You may have noticed that the timeline of published posts is based on hours, days and months but not dates. So there are posts from 4 months ago, 23 days ago and 3 hours ago. But no posts from 4 January, 2016. Which is annoying le poo out of me. LePoo. That's going to be the name of our first dog.

  2. We don't have an archive. So, I know I have written over 80 posts and I have a list of all the posts but I don't have an archive sitting anywhere that tells me or my readers how many posts I have written, when and in which order. How many this month? I dunno. How many in the past week? No clue. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Who deserves a slap, The Husband or LePoo?

  3. Related to the archive issue is the issue of not being able to skip to the first/last page when you're specifically looking for something. Now you know the approximate page number on which the post you're looking for is, but the stupid thing does not allow you to jump to that page. So you have to click, wait for the page to load, click, wait, click, wait, and CLICK AGAIN till you finally get what you want. This kid gets a kick out of frustrating sane individuals, that's why.

  4. Related to the issue of the inability to skip pages is the issue of The Search Button. It's broken is all :) Try searching for anything you want. I can assure you that you won't find it. And judging by the search history, I know that people have actually tried searching for posts, keywords and titles. I'm so sorry to disappoint all you blessed people. We shall try to fix it by the end of next year (which is when The Husband starts getting ice-cream again).

  5. The brat called The Blaahg is FORCING me to upload post images now. Because the posts without post images don't get featured at the bottom of other posts as the "Previous Post" or the "Next Post". Some posts don't deserve post images simply because I said so. Or because I don't feel like it. Now just 'cos I don't give in to all of it's demands doesn't mean that the kid has the right to punish me thus. YOU ARE NOT THE MOTHER OF ME, BLOG! In fact, I am the mother of you. "Thou shalt not walketh all ov'r thy owneth moth'r, thou spoilt dram brat.".

And while you're sitting here reading my complaints about this website, don't forget to check out the updated About page which tells the story of the creation of this blog in great detail.

Happy Reading!