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The Diaries of Gabby - Part 2

4 October, 2010.

Happiest day of my life! It's my birthday and I got the best surprise ever! Brian had already contacted a few of my friends to get my accommodation address and he planned my perfect surprise with them! This afternoon when I returned from the uni, a guy came to my door with flowers, a gift (a novel by Paulo Coelho) and a cake. Then the whole lot of them came up to my room and wished me. One of them even got Brian on the laptop via Skype and that's how I cut my 18th birthday cake. It was perfect. I'm a woman today and this was my best birthday ever, thanks to Brian. I just love love love surprises.

It all started in July when I could hold it in no longer and decided to ask him out. I was so nervous! I can still feel the excitement and the nervousness from that day. But I wouldn't have gone ahead and done it if I wasn't sure that he'd say yes. By then, we were openly flirting with each other and I couldn't help but feel increasingly attracted to him. He was perfect for me. So I mustered up some courage and began to tell him how important he's grown to become in my life. Before I could get anywhere with it, he told me how he thought he knew where this conversation was headed and that I should probably pause for a bit, take a week to think about it, and then talk to him if things hadn't changed. Well, that blew up right in my face, didn't it? But I wasn't going to let my embarrassment show. I wasn't even embarrassed. There was no need to be. So I decided to avoid talking to him for a week. I know he didn't say that we shouldn't talk at all but I didn't feel like talking to him. I kinda wanted him to make the first move this time. So the poor boy kept leaving Facebook messages for me and I'd take my own sweet time responding to them. To be honest, I'd respond in about an hour because I couldn't control myself. But I never initiated a conversation for about 4 days. I think he got the message. And he got it loud and clear. So he was the one who asked me at the end of 4 days if I had been thinking about stuff. That kinda melted my heart and I felt sorry for him. So I told him that I'd made up my mind and that I really wanted this. This as in, us. I wanted us to be in a healthy and loving relationship. And that's how it all began. Our story is like a movie. Boy meets girl, asks her out, she says yes and then happily ever after. Just kidding. It's been a wonderful journey so far.

He had vacations from June to around mid August and his initial plans were to visit his family in Belfast since they were closer to where he was. But he changed all of those plans to come all the way to Korea last month, just for me. I, of course, had to travel home for a few days but there were many conferences and seminars at the Uni around that time and it was convenient to take a few days off and go home. I basically got to spend a weekend and two extra days at home and managed to hang out with him for 3 of those 4 days. Could've done all 4 days but had to help out my mom with some stuff at home. I think he may have been a little pissed about that but he needs to understand that my family is as important to me as he is. Anyway, those three days when I hung out with him for the first time as girlfriend and boyfriend were the best! We went to the movies, ate out and had a lot of fun. We're keeping our relationship a secret from our families and some friends for obvious reasons. But I did tell Vincent because I didn't want him to find out through any other sources and feel bad. As it is, it takes longer for guys to get over a break-up than girls. That's what Brian says but who knows? He's never had a real girlfriend before me.

Our relationship in the three months that we've been together has been perfect. It has been everything I envisioned it to be. It's everything a girl could want in a relationship. He's the best! I don't understand all the fuss about long distance relationships and why people think they don't work. If you give your heart and soul to someone and truly believe in your relationship, then nothing can come in the way. Distance is never a factor. Brian and I may be in two different continents but we're as close as people can get. We talk every single night. Well, night in Korea, more like mid-afternoon in the UK. I have a perfect routine for everything. I get back from the Uni by around 6 p.m. because although it's possible to get back at 5, who does that? I get delayed by extra lectures or labs or friends or shopping. You never know. So 6 is my usual time. I grab something to snack on while texting him. Then I shower, pray, and get dinner. After dinner, I call him on Skype and chat. We never turn off Skype while we do our separate things. I'm always up-to-date with my studies because I don't get to laze around like most people. I'm a med student and we have to really push ourselves if we wanna do well. And the best thing is, Brian never, ever complains when I have to leave to go back to my studies. Sometimes I leave Skype on but it can get distracting. So I study, finish all the work I need to do, sometimes hang out with my flat-mates and then go back to call him. He's so sweet, he actually waits around for me to come back. Then he's always all cute and adorable when he complains about how I left him alone and went away. Not serious complaints but the ones that make me fall in love with him all over again. Today, he groaned when I said I wanted to write in my diary before getting back to talking to him. But he's the most understanding boyfriend ever! I just had to write all this own because I'm that happy and can't control it.

Sometimes I feel sorry for Brian. I think he feels pretty lonely where he is. That's probably the reason why he started talking to me in the first place. And it's from me that he's getting this kind of love and affection for the first time in his life. He was mostly separated from his family and never got the love and attention he deserved while growing up. And I don't think he made many friends along the way because that's how he is. He thinks he's figured things out for himself but that's not the case. Which is why he tries to party hard every once in a while. Being a med student, I'm totally against alcohol consumption. It does the worst things to your body and everyone should avoid it as much as possible. My father never consumed alcohol and I grew up in healthy environment. Which is also why I know the importance of setting a good example for children. I explained these things to Brian and initially he wasn't too happy. But slowly he began to realize why I wanted him to stop drinking for me. It was because I loved him deeply and already cared for the family we were going to build together. So now, he's slowly cutting down on alcohol and will soon stop altogether.

The only sorry thing that has come out of his whole alcohol cut-down is that he doesn't have much to do where he is. He's not like me, he doesn't have many friends. But I'm very social and always surrounded by friends. In fact, some of them complain that ever since I started dating Brian, I'm always huddled up in my room, Skyping him. Which is true, to be honest. My social life has almost died ever since I started dating him because I just end up spending all of my free time talking to him. So every once in a while (mostly just about once a week), I reserve some time for my friends. So I go out with them for dinner or to birthday parties and dedicate all my time to them so that they don't feel too sore. After all, I could always come back and Skype him before going to bed because even 4 a.m here is like 6 p.m where he is. But it breaks my heart to see that he waits for my call because he didn't go out or anything while I was away. I keep telling him that he should go out with friends and socialize while I sleep because it's possible to do that with the time difference. My only condition is that he shouldn't drink.

The best thing about our relationship is how we're both working towards being hard-core professionals. We respect each other's profession and understand the sacrifices we'll both have to make in life. Dating a doctor is no piece of cake. Being married to one is even more difficult. Brian understands perfectly how it's going to be. I have asked him and explained a million times and he is always supportive. As for me, I know that he's really, really good at what he does. And I already know that I'll support him with whatever he wants to do. All the late nights and the hard work don't bother me. I'm his woman and that's what real women do. They support their men in every way possible. We plan to settle in the UK itself for the most part. Plans change, of course, but so far, everything seems pretty perfect. I'll be around 24 by the time I'm done with my basic medical degree. But there's no stopping me there. I want to do many specializations and in short, I might end up studying (even while working) till I'm around 30 or more. But I feel that 24 is the perfect age for a girl to get married. So, soon after my degree here in Korea, I'm planning to apply in the UK for my post-grad. We could actually make it official in the meantime and I could move in with him. There won't be any visa trouble that way. It all seems perfect from here. I can only hope that things work out smoothly.

And my biggest concern in that area is how my family is going to react to the wedding ideas. They wouldn't mind the fact that I want to marry after my degree. My parents would be happy with the UK plans. But it's Brian that's going to be their problem. The fact that he wasn't all Korean as they'd like. I keep telling Brian that this might never work out, for all we know. I need to make him prepared for the shit storm that'll hit us when we get to that point. I don't think he likes hearing it when I say that we might not end up together. That's understandable because he loves me. But he should know this for a fact. The only way around it is if he goes up to my parents, meets them, and tells them personally that he'd like to ask for my hand. They will find him manly, brave and chivalrous. They don't have to know that we've been dating for 5 years (by then) or anything. They'll admire him for introducing himself and telling them that we went to the same school, although he was a year my senior, and that he always liked me and thought this was an appropriate time to ask for my hand. With his looks and qualifications, my parents would most certainly agree. And they'll also see that it's a good alliance considering how wealthy his family is. If this plan works out, they'll be happy to give their blessings. But whenever I tell him this, Brian gets irritated. He says harsh things like he doesn't believe in the institution of marriage and is ready to take the step only because it's very important to me. Then he'd say how he isn't going to meet them first and tell them that story because they wouldn't believe him and it could totally blow up in our faces. And that I should be the one to talk to them first. He just doesn't understand. After all, I know my family better than he does and I know exactly what will work and what won't. He just doesn't get it. And whenever I see his hesitance to take this step, I feel scared and angry. That's the only thing he has to do for everything to work out for us, so that we can live the life we have desired. The future we have envisioned. But that's okay. There's still time. We still have more than 5 years till it comes to that. And I know he'll change his mind eventually for me. He loves me to the moon and back and I know it. It'll all work out for the best. I'm positive.


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