Life Lessons from The Husband

I have learned so much from this man over the past (almost) 5 years. He's always been waaayyyyy more of an adult in adult situations and too much of a slap-worthy child in many others. But today, I'd like to list my favourite 5 pieces of functional advice that I have received from him (there are a lot of dysfunctional ones as well but more on that later) :

  1. Drain the hot water. Fill half a glass with very cold water. Pick up your hard boiled egg and place it in the glass. Shaky-Shaky. Then some more Shaky-Shaky. Then Physics happens. And the shell comes right off. Now you do it.

  2. You think and act too much when there's no need to do either. But when it comes to serious stuff where you need to act, you decide that the matter doesn't "deserve" your attention. Stop doing that for your own good, woman!

  3. LAWYER! Always call a lawyer. LAWYER UP! You never open your mouth unless you have a lawyer with you. Do you understand? Drishyam was actually a very good movie. But you know who could have avoided that mess? A lawyer.

  4. People don't bite. At least most people don't. And definitely not as often as you think. Talk to more people, woman! When a stranger sends you a message, stop being so paranoid and sceptical. Talk. It'll do you good.

  5. How to open a jar when I'm not around (writer's note - this happened recently after I threw a fit about not being able to open a jar of jam in his absence. By far, my favourite piece of advice). When you cant open a jar, you take the BIGGEST knife you can find. Turn the jar upside down and place it on a flat surface. Jam the knife in the space between the lid and the glass jar and pull outwards. Air enters and what happens? Tell me what happens. That's right, PHYSICS happens. Voila!

Now for why this is my favourite piece of advice. The Husband does not trust me around sharp objects, knives in particular. He installed a food processor in our kitchen so that I don't have to chop my veggies and sometimes, when I pick up a fork and a knife he asks me if I'm sure I can't manage with just a fork. Wait, I need to roll my eyes for some time first:

This knife paranoia is either because I have managed to cut my hand even with a baking sheet or because:

Either way, I like how he asked me to pick up the BIGGEST knife I can find to make "Physics happen". You can now officially trust me with a knife, people!

Also, please. PLEASE call me immature. PLEASE say that I need to grow up. It strangely makes me very proud of myself.

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