A list of things I think I want to buy but probably never will

First of all, THANK GOD I don't work in advertising or any field that will require me to "caption this" because will you just take a moment to re-read the title of this post? I can already hear The Husband in his German accent saying, "Why you be so stoopid, womaan?". But the good news is, I can promise zero click-baity nonsense on this website so please, love me already! But let's get back to the list, shall we?

  1. A Vanity. Like a dressing table with a nice chair and one of those "light-up" mirrors and...and...STUFF. Pretty stuff.

  2. STUFF. Like beauty blenders and make-up brushes and a hundred different lip glosses that I will never use.

  3. One of those tiny bullet shaped smoothie makers. I don't even want to drink smoothies. In fact, I don't like smoothies. But I want that thing in my kitchen because it's cute.

  4. A shower curtain, laundry basket and towels that come in a set. They should match. Fine, I'll remove the laundry basket from the equation. But I need matching shower curtains and towels.

  5. String lights. Because string lights.

  6. Shiny sequinned place mats. They may be overpriced, they can't be used on a daily basis, they can get easily ruined and they just do not make sense. But they're pretty. I want pretty.

  7. Three fake potted plants from Ikea. Because I killed my real potted plants and I need these to replace them (while filling up the hole left behind by Cloudy and The One Without A Name).

  8. A coat rack. I may not have space for it in my house but walking to my bedroom each time to get/remove my coat is slightly inconvenient.

  9. An adult colouring book. Because I'm not an adult yet, and that makes me a rebel for wanting it.

  10. Shoes with wheels. I saw a kid rocking them at the movies last weekend and decided that I definitely need those in my life. Because walking is just too much work.