Staying to true to my nature

Exactly five days ago, a sort of madness took over my existence and I'm currently a perfect mixture of unadulterated happiness and adrenalin.

A lot of my friends including Shane are the kind of people who work best under stress. They've explained to me the rush they get when they're just hours away from a deadline and the intensity with which they find themselves capable of getting to the tasks at hand. And every time someone explains this panic-ridden efficiency, I totally get it. Because I mostly experience those exact same things a month ahead of time.

From the time I can remember, if there was ever a subject I enjoyed studying, I would start preparing for just that exam at least a month in advance. I did it because I wanted to, because it would make me very happy. As for the others, I would simply ignore them till the very end and do the bare minimum required to scrape through. There have been times when I've skipped entire modules simply because I didn't see how spending time on them was of any value to me. I scored about 54% and 58% respectively in Chemistry and Physics during my 12th-grade board exams because I'd already decided that I wouldn't want to have anything to do with either of those subjects in the future. The subjects I loved, on the other hand, were given hours and days of my undivided attention.

The last time you heard from me, I told you about the frenzied list-making and excited organisation that ensued after the realisation that I had exactly a month left for my India trip. This frenzy was very true to my nature, making my mother proud and my husband scowl. Since then, a lot has happened and I'm happy to inform you that I'm pretty much all set for it. In about a week, every item on my to-do list would have been checked.

But you know what else happened unexpectedly and completely out of the blue? BIRTHDAY PLANNING.

!!!!

When I realised that I had a month left to prepare for a holiday I was looking forward to, I also realised that I had exactly two months to prepare for my 26th birthday. I've mentioned this a hundred times here and I will say it again - birthdays, especially my own, are fucking important to me. Every year, I decide what I want to do on my special day/week and make it happen. Sure, a surprise party thrown by loved ones would be amazing but I will still make sure that I do what I'd planned for myself on d-day.

This time though, I realised that for my birthday to be special after I returned from India, I'd have to either plan right now or while I was on holiday so that I had enough of a window to make things happen. The planning simply could not take place after our return because we'd be a little squeezed for time. As for planning during the holiday, I'd rather not because I just want to relax and not worry about anything. So I sat down on the evening of 17th August (my birthday is on 16th October) and made all the plans. I tried to get Shane involved in the process but he actually flipped this time and looked at me as if I'd asked him to hold a bowl under my ear as I tilted my head to the side and let my brain ooze out of it.

But that's okay, I love it when I'm not interrupted during this stage of the planning. Unnecessary noise and opinions thrown around are not very helpful either because that would shift the focus from this whole thing being all about me. Boy, do I love myself a little too much!

What I came up with is quite poetic and adventurous at the same time. I also made sure to try and involve as many of my people as possible this time around. So I will have four birthday celebrations, spread over three months - from September to November.

I agree that I may have gone a little overboard this time but you know what? I'm not going to turn 26 again in my life so I'm going to scroll up and quote the first sentence I typed on this post:

Exactly five days ago, a sort of madness took over my existence and I'm currently a perfect mixture of unadulterated happiness and adrenalin.

I can't remember the last time I was this happy. All I can say is, this is probably it for me. Planning my happy-time, checking items off extensive to-do lists, sorting out work for the next three months - this is probably it.

Once I was done with the planning, I drafted an email to Shane explaining the when, where, how and why of things and he really appreciated it. At the end of the day, I think he finds it quite relieving that he has literally nothing to do to make sure I have a great time on my birthday. I can't imagine what he would have done had I been the type of girlfriend/wife who expected him to surprise me each time. The best case scenario for him would have been to end up with someone who forgot her birthdays the way he tends to forget his. I would argue that I come as a close second. I, on the other hand, would absolutely love being with someone who expected a surprise from me every now and then because keeping up with that expectation would involve planning and staying true to my nature. I must confess, however, that I ended up with the exact opposite of my best case scenario. At least I get to ensure that he never forgets either of our birthdays. Life is still pretty fuckin' amazing.


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