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Scream log - 11/03/17

I've decided to record my night terrors and blood-curdling screams under the tag 'Scream Log' from now on. This is going to be interesting.

After I shared about my night terrors two weeks ago, I was bowled over by the kindness you all showed me. It was a relief to learn that I was not alone in these experiences and to my surprise, I found out that The Bromance suffered from the same a while ago.

In the two weeks since my last episode, I figured that I'd pretty much been cured because I thought the screaming had finally stopped. The truth is that in the past two weeks, I went to bed alone only once. I'd been sticking around in the living room while Shane played on most days and on others, he'd been too exhausted to stay up. So we mostly went to bed at the same time. However, last Friday, after watching a movie, I went to bed at around 2 a.m while Shane stayed behind to play. The next morning, I woke up naturally after 9 full hours of undisturbed sleep and felt proud of myself for sleeping through even the sound that he must have made when he climbed back into bed at whatever time he decided to call it a night.

That morning, I proudly told my parents about how I'd slept through the sound of Shane coming back to bed, and that I seemed to have outgrown the night terrors. But it's only when I repeated the story to my dear husband that I heard the actual story.

Apparently, he decided to come back to bed after he heard me scream. He said that at first, he heard me repeat the words "No No No" and that after a short spell of silence came the usual shriek. So that happened.

At least this time, neither of us was jolted awake by the shrieking. And to be honest, the selfish kid in me doesn't mind sleeping through it and not remembering the dream or hallucination in the morning. The rest is Shane's problem and he can figure out how to deal with his possessed wife.

It's only after this latest episode that he started telling me about those times in the beginning when I've sat up in my sleep with my eyes open to scream like a banshee. As it turns out, initially, he used to get really freaked out by it and would start shaking me to make sense of the situation. But once he figured out that it was just a recurring manufacturing defect, he'd just let me be and not wake me up. My shrill screams generally do manage to wake me up but apparently, there have been times (like last Friday) when I've slept through them to have no recollection of them in the morning. And nowadays, he says he's trained himself to sleep through most of them as well. I really don't know how that works but we'll see where this is going.

This morning, I have a faint recollection of a horrible dream I had last night. It was about an acquaintance of mine who'd just had a baby finding out that she'd lost her husband. In my dream, she was wailing. As in really, heart-wrenchingly, screaming in pain. And I could feel her pain. It was like I shared her loss. This seemed like one of those instances where I should have/must have screamed out in my sleep. But when I asked Shane, he said he didn't remember and then, he proceeded to celebrate the probability of finally finding success in sleeping through my screams. I'm so annoyed at him for not being tortured and scarred by me anymore because now, I can't know for sure if I screamed, which in turn makes it hard for me to enter it in my cutesy little scream log. How dare he not suffer!

But my point is, in the past two weeks, I have not even once woken up feeling terrified by my own screams although the screaming hasn't stopped. I'm not even sure if that's an improvement but like I said, we'll all find out where this is going soon enough.

See you tomorrow!

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