Our favourite Chinese place

Is AWESOME. It's the best Chinese food you'll find in Scotland and I'm not even kidding you. They have a sign hanging on their wall saying they're the best. And you just don't go around hanging signs like that unless it's true. But seriously. You have my word. If you're going to be travelling to Edinburgh or Glasgow, this is one place you should never miss out on. I've talked about Chop Chop here and if you don't trust me, I'm sure you'd at least listen to what Gordon Ramsay has to say about the place (Ha!).

We go there at least once a month because it takes an entire month to digest all the food you've had there and once you manage to do that, you're always hungry for more. They have these offers for groups of 2, 3, 4, 5 and above which basically involves every single item on their menu, brought to your table in an unlimited fashion so that you can eat till you die. And we're the kind of greedy assholes that try to force people into coming with us, so that we can go there as a group of 5 or more, so that we get every. single. thing. on. the. menu. The Husband and I, have on many occasions been asked by many kind waiters in many restaurants if we'd like to order desserts. These waiters usually follow up their question with, "Looks like you're pretty full. You don't have space for desserts, do you?". To which we joke that someone might have to roll us out of the restaurant. But the only time we mean what we say is when we eat at Chop Chop. We sit at our seats and contemplate the insanity of calling a cab to The Bromance's place which is literally a 5 minute walk from the restaurant. We wake up the next morning, swearing to ourselves that we won't eat for another month. We feel fat after stuffing ourselves. We feel unfit. We feel like we need to start exercising again. And that's a scary thought. That said, I'm already drooling, thinking about last night's meal.

A few months ago, when we were at Chop Chop, a cute, soft-spoken Chinese boy had just joined the team. He was our waiter for the evening. After we were done with the meal, he began to clear our table nervously. It was probably his first week there and he was just getting used to the job. It did look like he was carrying far too many soiled dishes at once. And before he could reach the door to the kitchen, we heard a loud crash. We knew immediately what had happened. I, in fact, saw it happen. I felt sorry for the poor boy. Everyone was trying to pretend as if they didn't see anything. My heart went out to the poor fellow. And I did what I always do when I feel sorry for someone and don't know how to react. I began to laugh like a maniac. Now, I probably would have controlled myself had it not been for The Bromance. But he's the DEVIL. He made eye contact with me, a little smile beginning to form around the corners of his mouth and I completely lost it. We both erupted into a thunderous roar of laughter while we desperately tried to pretend as if we were laughing at something The Husband had said. The only glitch in our plan was the disappointed expression on The Husband's face. Let's just say he wasn't too pleased and kept nodding his head from side to side while slowly raising a hand to his forehead, assuming the pose of the disappointed parent of a child who's throwing a public tantrum. And the worst part is, we were laughing not because anything was funny, but because laughing is the last thing you would be expected to do at the time. Like when you're stuck in an elevator with a bunch of strangers and everyone's trying their best to not make eye contact. Like when you're getting punished for being talkative in class. Like when you're visiting someone and they force their kindergärtner to perform for you. Like when someone is really, really mad at you and screaming at you, just waiting for you to break down and sob. Am I the only one who laughs at the most inappropriate times?

Ever since that happened, the poor Chinese boy and I have found it tremendously difficult to make eye contact. I sometimes pray that it's his day off when we go there. But in all these months, it has never been his day off. I have been seeing him regularly. I'm happy to report now that he's gotten really good at his job. I have watched him grow and I'm proud of him.

Also, ever since that incident, we tried not to talk about it much. The wound was still fresh in our minds and we all just went back to pretending as if this never happened. However, yesterday, after The Husband's birthday meal at Chop Chop, the same boy began to clear our table. This time, he didn't carry as many soiled dishes (way to go, little one!). I knew what I had to do. It was simple. Look away from The Bromance. How hard can that be? But I'm not the strongest person I know (WHERE IS YOUR SELF CONTROL, WOMAN?) and I looked right at him. I can't begin to explain the telepathic moment we shared the minute we made eye contact. Almost instantaneously, we both started a countdown. Out loud. 3...2....1...BOOM. Except there wasn't a crash this time. The BOOM was our thunderous laughter, again. We tried to pretend as if we were laughing at something The Husband had said, again. The Husband began to slowly nod his head in disappointment, again. And I'm back to praying that the next time we decide to go back to Chop Chop is on the boy's day off.

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