Big butts and Small boobs

All through Sunday morning, Shane was a happy man. The happiest man. He showered first thing in the morning, danced while cooking breakfast and even cleaned up on his own. But by evening, he looked a little...meh. Like something had happened during the course of the day that sucked all the happiness out of him. Like he had a visit from a Dementor.

So when I saw him walking towards the kitchen with his shoulders drooping, I called out to him, "Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"

And suddenly, he snapped out of it. And he did it with so much force that he screamed, "YES! I'm mad at you. Because your ass is too big. MAKE IT SMALL! You need to make it small RIGHT NOW". And then proceeded to stomp his foot on the floor like a little budding drama queen.

So with an almost equal display of dramatic enthusiasm, I ran up to him and made an ass with my elbow the way we used to do in kindergarten and exclaimed, "Look! It's smaller now".

And then, out of nowhere and without a warning, he stared into my soul with knowing eyes that could see right through me and said, "Don't try to fool me with your cleavage".

via GIPHY


Also, please scroll up and watch that YouTube video about 'how to make your elbow look like a butt'. It's clearly by two pre-teen boys and very clearly reflects my maturity level.


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